It's always been you
by InvisibleBlade
Summary: John is forced to make a decision but in the end it comes down to one thing. It's always been Sherlock and it always will be. Johnlock. Oneshot. Edited omegle RP.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own.**

**A/N: This is an edited omegle RP**

**Sherlock : Me**

**John : Omegle stranger. **

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Congratulations on the engagement, John. - SH.

Oh. Right... Thank you Sherlock. JW

It's no problem. I hope that the two of you are very happy together. - SH.

Me too. And...just thank you. Again. JW

When will you be moving from the flat? I'll inform Mrs Hudson. - SH.

I...don't know. Hadn't thought of that... JW

Well start thinking, John. We haven't got all the time in the world. Plan ahead. - SH.

Oh. Sorry. Well...maybe in a week or so, so I can have time to pack. JW

A week? . - SH.

Sherlock. If there's something wrong, say it. JW

There's nothing wrong, John. Everything is perfectly fine. I hope you have a nice life. - SH.

Well, I will. You have one too. JW

No, John. My life will not be a nice one thank you very much. - SH.

What are you talking about? JW

Oh what does it matter? You're leaving me and 221B for good for a better offer. I understand that perfectly and I accept it. - SH.

Sherlock it has nothing to do with leaving you. I'm giving you up. I'm moving on. It's hard for me too. JW

Really? I don't think it is. I don't think you understand how I'm feeling at all. And giving me up? What? Bored of me now, John? Or was it the feet collection I left in the fridge that made you want to give me up? - SH.

Giving you up because I can't do it anymore. I'm not bored of you, I'll never be bored of you. I can't explain it... JW

Explain, John. I need to understand. What are you going on about? Not being able to do what anymore? - SH.

I can't, Sherlock. It's not worth it anymore. JW

Not worth it anymore? John, I don't want you to cut me from your life. You're the one I can count upon, my only friend in the world, please. - SH.

Okay... Sherlock. I can't do it anymore. I can't sit here anymore, desperately in love with you, when you obviously can never reciprocate my feelings. So I'm moving on. I gave up. I gave you up. JW

You ... what? You're an idiot, John. A true idiot. - SH.

What? JW

What have I told you about observing? I care for you, John. I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you. You are the most precious thing to me in the whole wide world. - SH.

Right. That's really nice of you and all. But what are you getting at? JW

Do I really have to spell this out to you, John? - SH.

I'm thinking so. JW

I am inexplicably and impossibly, and irritatingly in love with you. - SH.

I...you are? Why the hell didn't you say something? JW

Because you seemed happy with Mary and adamant that we weren't a couple. - SH.

I was trying to move on. I'm

It's fine. It's too late now. I guess this is goodbye. - SH.

Sherlock... I don't want it to be. JW

But what choice do you have? You're engaged. Mary's a nice woman. You'll settle down in a nice house with a picket garden and have two children. And I'll ... just stay behind. - SH.

I...could always leave her, Sherlock. JW

Except you won't. I know you, John. You don't want to break Mary's heart and so therefore you shall not leave her. - SH.

Sherlock. But I can't just leave you alone... I want you. JW

Then make a choice, John. Just know that there is no turning back when you have made your decision. - SH.

What do you want? JW

I want you to be happy. - SH.

I don't know if I can be happy knowing that it could have been you. JW

Then I believe you have already made your decision. What are you going to do about it? - SH.

I don't know. JW

Come home, John. - SH.

I'll await your arrival. - SH.

About five minutes later, John arrived at 221B. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door and made his way inside. "Sherlock?" He called, his stomach turning.

Sherlock was sprawled out in his usual position on the sofa. "John." He muttered under his breath in reply, turning his cool gaze to his flatmate.

John leaned against the door frame, staring back at him. "Hello."

The detective uncurled himself from his position and strode over to John with purpose in his stride. "Hello." He retorted, stopping a few inches away from the blonde haired man.

John looked up at him, his breath catching in his throat. "Hello." He said again with a slight smirk.

"I believe you already said that." Sherlock offered John a huge smile.

John grinned, moving closer to him. "I believe so."

Sherlock reached forwards and wrapped his slender fingers around John's wrist. "Your pulse is incredibly fast." He stated. "And your pupils are blown wide."

John blushed, biting his lip. "That tends to happen a lot when you're close to me. I'm actually surprised you hadn't noticed it before."

"Maybe I didn't want to set myself up for a fall, John." Sherlock sighed gently. "Because if I was misreading the signs and I lost your friendship I would fall."

John nodded. "Understandable. Considering I was in the same boat..."

Sherlock's eyes flickered along John's body. "You've melted my heart, John. I have loved few in my life, and none more than you."

John sighed, his heart fluttering. "You saved me. You know that...? I was all alone. Then I found you."

"I was alone too." Sherlock whispered. "I had no one."

"I know." John reached up and placed a gentle hand on Sherlock's cheek, his thumb rubbing in slow circles. "I know."

"I don't want you to go." His voice was soft and ever so slightly broken. "I don't want you to ever leave my life."

"Thank you for telling me." He whispered, moving closer. "It helps me to know what you want."

Sherlock trembled as John closed in. "It was hard." He choked. "I've never ... never done anything like this before."

"I know." John whispered, his eyes fluttering shut. "That's why I thought there was no way you could feel the same way."

"Emotions are so complicated." Sherlock breathed. "And they hurt."

John smiled gently. "Yeah. Welcome to the human race."

Sherlock laughed lightly. "The question is what do we do now?"

John opened his eyes again. "I'm not sure in the long run... But for the moment, I would really like to kiss you. If that's okay?"

Sherlock licked his lips nervously. "But Mary ..."

John nodded. "I know."

"I want to kiss you but I know that it is wrong." Sherlock edged forwards slightly.

"I love her. But I'm in love with you. Does that make any sense?"

"No." Sherlock shook his head. "Love is a new and foreign concept to me. I have little knowledge in my mind palace about it."

"I do love her. She's important to me. But...you make me feel alive and open and so complete that it hurts."

A tear slipped down Sherlock's cheekbone. "I know what you mean. You make my heart hurt because I feel so whole."

John wiped it away with his thumb. "Sherlock I want to be with you. Forever... Mary is strong and smart and she has places to go in her life. I think she'll be okay..."

Sherlock sniffed and nodded. "If you're sure that you want me then I will give you everything, John. I'll give you what I keep from society. My heart."

John nodded, moving closer to him so that they were pressed against one another. "Kiss me...?"

"I'll try." Sherlock's voice quivered. "I'll be sloppy. You'll be my first kiss."

That's alright... I wouldn't want it any other way."

Sherlock gulped down hard on the lump that was filling his throat and wrapped his arms around John's waist. "Ok. I'll kiss you." He smiled weakly and slowly brought his perfectly sculpted lips to John's.

John closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Sherlock's neck, pressing closer to him.

The kiss was as Sherlock had stated earlier, sloppy. It was awkward. Their lips slid against each other at the wrong angles. Their noses bumped occasionally.

John chuckled softly to himself as he finally pulled away. "You really are something else."

Sherlock blushed and glanced away from John. "Meaning?" He asked anxiously.

"Amazing. Gorgeous... You were right, as always. It was...awkward. But so so, so perfect."

Sherlock's eyes sparkled as he looked back to John. "That kiss was far from perfect. I'll do better. I promise."

John laughed. "We'll get the hang of it, you and me."

Sherlock grinned from ear to ear. "You and me. Now I like the sound of that."

John nuzzled him affectionately. "So do I..."

Sherlock squeezed John in his arms. "I love you." The words came surprisingly easy to him.

John beamed. "I love you too..."

"What do we do now? I presume you have a rather difficult phone call to make." Sherlock looked down to the ground. "I'm sorry that I have put you in this position."

"I suppose I do..." John said quietly. "Don't apologize. I put myself here too."

"If there's anything I can do to help ..." Sherlock trailed off mid-sentence.

"I know.." John murmured, pecking his lips quickly.

Sherlock ran a hand down John's side. "What are you going to tell her?" He asked softly.

"The truth."

Sherlock scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That would be idiotic."

"What else would I tell her?"

Sherlock shrugged. "I am afraid that is up to you, but not the truth. Don't you think the truth will break her?"

John nodded. "I suppose it will. But what should I say?"

Sherlock hummed in thought. "You could always say that you have realized that you love her but you're not in love with her. That you want her to be with someone that can love her fully."

"Well that is true... I think that's what I'll do..."

"Do you need some time alone to do it in?" Sherlock questioned. "I'm sure I could go to the yard. There's bound to be a few old cases I can get my hands on."

"That'd be nice...yeah..."

Sherlock nodded, pulling reluctantly away from John. "I'll be gone a good hour or so. That should give you enough time. If you need more text me." He grabbed his coat, scarf and gloves bore readying himself to leave.

John grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I love you... Thank you."

"I love you too." Sherlock smiled sweetly. "And I should be the one thanking you. After all I didn't think in a million years that you'd choose me."

"It's always been you." John said softly. "You should know that."

Sherlock felt the last piece of ice in his heart thaw at John's words. "I do now." He said, stepping out the door and smiling, looking back for an intense moment. "Just wanted one last look."

John smiled after him as he left, sighing.

Sherlock didn't go to the yard. Instead he went for a walk to clear his thoughts. John loved him. He loved John. He was finally not alone. He would always have John. John would always have him. And somehow that was too much for even the consulting detective to comprehend.

John finally made the call after about twenty minutes of pacing. He told Mary that he needed to break off the engagement, for her sake. Because she deserved better. Mary was confused, and she cried, which John had dreaded. But in the end it was alright. She said she understood and that she'd be alright and hoped they could still be friends. John agreed and told her he'd be by that weekend to talk over everything and get his things.

Did things work out alright? Can I come home? –SH

Yes. Mary's alright, actually. It'll be okay. JW

Good. I'm glad to hear that things weren't too messy. - SH. Sherlock sent off the text before storming into the flat he'd been waiting outside of for

almost half an hour.

John jumped as Sherlock burst inside. "Dear god that was fast!"

Sherlock blushed. "I was waiting outside." He muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't apologize. I was just startled." John crossed to him.

"I didn't mean to startle you." Sherlock continued to stand in the same spot, a little unsure of what to do or say.

John nodded. "It's fine." He stood awkwardly. "So it's done. I'm...no longer engaged..."

Sherlock felt immensely guilty all of a sudden. "Uh ..." He made a strange noise in the back of his throat but couldn't bring himself to speak.

"What's the matter?" John asked him, stepping closer.

"You seemed thrilled to be finally settling down for good with someone." Sherlock bit his lip. "And I ruined that for you."

John shook his head. "No you didn't. Because now I get to settle down with you..."

"You want to marry me?" He quizzed, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't mean that exactly... Maybe someday. But I mean, I get to be with you. And I'm happy."

Sherlock chuckled. "That's all I ever cared about. Your happiness."

John smiled. "And I about yours."

I am very happy in this moment in time. Very happy indeed."

John beamed and held out his hand. "Sit with me?"

Sherlock stared down at John's hand before linking his fingers with him. "Ok." He agreed, not entirely sure what was going to happen next.

John tugged him over to the couch, sitting with Sherlock beside him. "So...what do we do?"

Sherlock studied John carefully. "You're the man of experience. You tell me."

John nodded. "Well there are lots of things to do... But I don't want to rush anything."

Sherlock shuddered a little. "Yes, can we take things slowly?"

John nodded again. "As slow as you need, love.

Sherlock found his eyebrows raising again. "Love?" He questioned the term of endearment.

John blushed. "Do you not like that?"

"No, I just - " Sherlock cocked his head to the side again. "It's strange to be called that."

John smiled. "Oh. I can tone it down."

"It's fine, John. It's all fine." Sherlock laughed lightly.

"Are you hungry?"

"You know I don't eat much." Sherlock retorted. "Why? Are you?"

"Not particularly. It was just an idea..."

"Like .. a date?" Sherlock concluded.

"Or just getting some takeaway..."

"Take away sounds good."Sherlock nodded in agreement.

John smiled. "The usual?"

"Obviously." Sherlock retorted, a smirk pulling at his lips.

John laughed and nodded. "Obviously."

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